Godzilla King of the Monsters
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Post by Godzilla King of the Monsters on Dec 13, 2013 13:29:16 GMT -5
Hello! My name is GODZILLA and this is my brand new advice column thread. Do you have a problem or query that has been perplexing you and that you desperately need some helpful and friendly advice to deal with the situation? Then, let me tell you, you have come to the right place. Just ask me and I will be more than delighted to give you the advice that you need to help confront any and all life situations that fate can throw at you.! Blue Oyster Cult - Godzilla |
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Post by Gojira on Dec 23, 2013 13:04:35 GMT -5
The Top 10 Things That Godzilla Enjoys Doing When He's Not Making Movies: 1. Tending to his seaweed gardens.
2. Reading trashy novels.
3. Practicing his Tai Chi and Yoga.
4. Mountain Climbing.
5. Texting, Tweeting, and updating his Facebook page.
6. Going to "Stomp: The Musical" shows.
7. Surfing and Wind-sailing off the coasts of Japan.
8. Having backyard barbecue parties with his buddies Rodan and Ghidorah.
9. Watching the Ninja Warrior competitions at Mount Midoriyama.
10. Attending Blue Oyster Cult concerts. |
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Post by Gamera on Dec 30, 2013 12:23:04 GMT -5
Dear Godzilla,
Over the years I have been experiencing severe bouts of heartburn and other embarrassing symptoms and associated maladies as a result of my mutant atomic powers.
You, also being a gigantic mutated fire-breathing atomic age monster can maybe relate with some of these mishaps that I have had to endure at times, particularly with burning flatulence.
I am talking about real fire and brimstone kind of 4 alarm raging inferno type of flatulence here. The kind that will level an entire city with a single blast. It has become quite the embarrassment for me and the Missus at social gatherings and dinner parties. It has been occurring more and more frequently as of late, particularly after I have enjoyed a good hearty meal. What advice, if any, can you give me?
Yours Cordially,
Gamera
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Post by Godzilla on Jan 20, 2014 11:28:44 GMT -5
Dear Gamera,
A giant radioactive mutant monster's diet is very crucial! Absolutely no Hot N' Spicy foods are ever allowed, unless you are planning on going on a destructive rampage later in the day. Otherwise avoid those, and all other spicy and rich meals as well. We must keep our diet light at most times lest we be hampered with the undesirable and embarrassing symptoms that you are experiencing.
That is why I usually start the day off with a nice low fat yogurt, and a few celery sticks. For lunch I enjoy some nice tea and rice cakes, along with a healthy portion of salted seaweed.
Dinnertime I usually like to have chicken, turkey, or fish, along with a side dish of ramen noodles or rice.
I hope that you find this information helpful, Gamera.
Until next time,
Godzilla
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Post by ROcK! on Mar 19, 2014 15:43:19 GMT -5
Best commercial...Ever! SNICKERS® - "Godzilla" (Extended Version) |
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Post by Rodan on Mar 28, 2014 11:40:12 GMT -5
Dearest Godzilla...
I just haven't been myself lately. I have met the girl of my dreams but the problem is that she doesn't even pretend to act like I even exist. She is everything that a guy could ever hope or wish for in a girl. She is kind, considerate, beautiful, lovely, colorful...She flutters about on exquisite wings of gossamer. She is just totally and absolutely everything that I have ever dreamed of in a woman!!
I can't sleep at night. I can't eat. I can't function normally. She occupies my every thought!
Whatever should I do?!?!
Cordially,
Rodan
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Post by Godzilla on Mar 28, 2014 15:04:36 GMT -5
Dear Rodan,
Okay, let's just clear something up here first. This is Mothra that we are talking about here, isn't it?
DUDE! Don't let her fool you! That is how she gets you. First, she totally mesmerizes you with her beauty and hypnotic colors, and then she swoops in for the attack; POW! The next thing you know you are down and out for the count.
Don't fall for it!!
Signed,
GODZILLA |
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