Gabrielle Chattingham
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Post by Gabrielle Chattingham on Nov 12, 2013 13:16:21 GMT -5
Dear Gabby Hello! My name is Gabrielle Chattingham, but my friends call me Gabby for short. I am an Advice Columnist and this here is my brand new talk therapy thread. Oh, and let me tell you, I am so excited! I can hardly wait to get things started. I know that we are going to have such a wonderful time here together conversing and listening to each other's problems and stories, and lending each other advice, and also laughing and crying on each other's shoulders. It is what I was meant to do and why God put me here on this green Earth!
So let's not waste any more time and get right down to it now, shall we? I want to hear all about your troubles. |
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Gabrielle Chattingham
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Post by Gabrielle Chattingham on Nov 14, 2013 15:38:06 GMT -5
Okay, lets get things started here with a letter that I have received from a Mr. Xybozeez from the planet Xerbia, and his quandary;
"Dear Gabby, My wife's progenitors have recently moved in with us and it has been driving us both shazbot! They carelessly leave their laser guns sitting around the flying saucer, and toss their dirty blergoxings all over the floor, and never help out with cleaning the Zagonshintaxs at all. They both act like a couple of Gamorreans! Whatever shall we do?"
Oh, my, dear Xybozeez. It sounds like you are in quite a pickle. What you are experiencing now is not all that uncommon and something that happens to many people at this stage of their lives. Your inlaws have found themselves unable to provide shelter for themselves and the task has befallen on you two kind souls to take them in under your wings and help them to get back on their feet again. Rejoice in the fact that you have their loving company and are able to assist them in their time of need. After all, if not for them, where would you and your wife be right now? I am sure that they were there for you two at some point in your lives in the past, and they are of course the ones who fed and bathed and wiped your wife's little dirty space bottom and helped to nurture and raise her to become the fine young outstanding, uh, whatever species that you two are? Take comfort in knowing the good that you two are doing and enjoy these times that you all have to share together.
Nanoo Nanoo, and may the Force be with you, always!
Love, Gabby.
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Post by Killjoy on Feb 5, 2014 13:00:47 GMT -5
Dear Gab Chatterhead,
Valentine's day is coming up soon and my girl Batty Boop has been dropping hints, that witch! Who does she think I am?! I am not some totally enmasculated doofus who is prone to showing displays of lovelorn geeky affection to try and score with the chicks! I've got a reputation to uphold. Ahhh. What's an evil clown to do?
So, what I guess I'm trying to get at here is...how can I show the old battle axe that I care for her without coming off as a complete effeminate pussy-whipped dweeb?
Signed,
Killjoy
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Gabrielle Chattingham
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Post by Gabrielle Chattingham on Feb 5, 2014 16:43:08 GMT -5
Oh, my, Dearest Killjoy. It is so very lovely to hear from you! Yes indeed, sweetheart, the glorious and heartwarming holiday of Valentine's Day is almost upon us. Rejoice in all of it's splendor and wonder, for it only comes once a year.
Valentine's Day is very important, especially for couples. A partner wants and needs to feel appreciated and loved from time to time, especially on Valentine's Day. So make sure to get her some flowers, a card, or some chocolates or some nice jewelry. Perhaps a nice home-cooked meal by candlelight, or at a restaurant.
Whatever you do, do not be afraid to express your feelings and tell her how much you love and cherish her.
Bless you, Dear, and thanks so much for writing.
Yours cordially,
Gabrielle
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Post by Killjoy on Feb 5, 2014 18:17:43 GMT -5
Aw, hell! I just knew that you were gonna say something like that!
Okay, then, let's just get this piece of crap holiday over with already.
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Post by Batty Boop on Feb 8, 2014 11:06:29 GMT -5
There you are, Poopsie! I've been searching all over for you.
That's right, the big day is coming soon and you had better treat me real special like, buster, or else there's going to be hell to pay!
Bye bye for now, Snookums. |
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Post by Killjoy on Feb 8, 2014 11:40:32 GMT -5
Baby! Sweetness. Sugar dumpling! Where did you come from all of a sudden?
Of course I will treat you special. You know that you are my favorite girl, Batty. I can hardly wait for the big day where I can lavish you with all kinds of attention. I was just on my way now to stock up on supplies to get ready for our big lovey-dovey special time together.
(How does she always manage to find me?!)
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Post by Q Bert on Feb 8, 2014 13:59:44 GMT -5
"@!#?@!"
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