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Post by OrangeJulius on Aug 3, 2013 4:19:25 GMT -5
...---...-
Prelude:
Several times in my life, I have lived exclusively amongst immigrants, in immigrant communities.
Arab(6Mos.)
Latin(3Yrs.6Mos.)
Vietnamese(3Yrs.+)
This one time...
I was living in a house with four Vietnamese roommates.
I witnessed one of them("Van" AKA ?)... I witnessed "Van" walking to his room with a new kitchen knife that I had purchased for everyone to use in our kitchen.
I noticed that he never returned the knife to our shared kitchen.
A few days later, I asked him to return the knife to the kitchen.
He denied ever having even seen the knife.
I said, "Bullshit".
He responded, "Bullshit?? Bullshit?? YOU'RE DEAD" and ran to his room.
He returned rapidly wielding a small handheld axe, which he immediately swung at my head/neck.
I easily managed to avoid his attempt, disarm him and apparently injured his shoulder in the process.
Someone, had called the police.
The primary responding officer was asian(Korean?) but clearly understood Vietnamese.
Another roommate hid the axe.
The officer received statements from everyone.
An ambulance arrived and escorted "Van" to a hospital for his "alleged" injured shoulder.
No charges were filed, ever.
I didn't complain, nor did I pursue this as an issue.
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Post by OrangeJulius on Aug 3, 2013 4:23:38 GMT -5
Oh, forgot to mention...
Generally, amongst asians, Vietnamese are most often regarded as the lowest class and frequently regarded with contempt.
Speaking only from personal experience.
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Post by OrangeJulius on Aug 3, 2013 4:45:15 GMT -5
..-..
Real quick,
Because...
One is Never enough.
--..-,,
Backstory:
Over a decade ago.
I was fairly recently honorably discharged.
I frequently slept with a loaded SIG P226 in my hand, under my pillow.
--
I noticed a Glock handgun unannounced, in a unknown to me personally, visitors inside coat.
I quickly reached inside his coat, while he was still wearing it, and relieved him of his firearm.
In less than five seconds I removed the upper receiver on his Glock firearm, reassembled it purposefully bending the firing pin rendering it functionally useless as a firearm.
He complained.
"You can have your firearm repaired and come back and shoot me for all I care." My response.
I didn't or neglected to say "Try to".
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Post by OrangeJulius on Aug 7, 2013 22:04:35 GMT -5
...
Backstory: I was sixteen and possessed two cars. Three days before the below incident I managed to severely damage the first car while driving in reverse, backwards down an alley near the boardwalk. Yes, I was heavily intoxicated.
July 3rd, AM, around 10(Best guess).
I noticed two friends riding beach cruiser bicycles.
What the Hell.
I immediately decided that it was a good idea and entirely appropriate to ATTEMPT to shoot a BOTTLE ROCKET through a BLOWGUN that conveniently happened to also be in my possession at that very moment.
I lit the BOTTLE ROCKET placed it in the BLOWGUN and aimed it in their general direction, while simultaneously DRIVING.
The BOTTLE ROCKET fell out of the BLOWGUN and shot into the passenger floor board.
I reacted by immediately lunging/reaching for the BOTTLE ROCKET. My shoulder must have hit/moved the steering wheel. careening my car into a PARKED car, totaling my second vehicle within one week.
Immediately following the CRASH was a loud BANG.
The BOTTLE ROCKET detonated.
Lulzzzzzzzzzzzzz
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Post by OrangeJulius on Aug 7, 2013 23:37:36 GMT -5
...
Because ONE is NEVER enough...
Fairly recent following the above incident I was driving a rental car.
Backstory: My head was recently shaved, I was wearing steel toe Doc Martens and wearing a "Biker"/Harley CUSTOM motorcycle shop sweatshirt. The sweatshirt was emblazoned with a small SS Logo over my heart and a HUGE SS Logo on the back.
BRAVE & BOLD, that's how I "roll"
I had a twelve pack of Budweiser and maybe-MAYBE a nickel sized bud of marijuana.
I walked up to four, unknown to me, four "gentlemen" partying at one of my usual, actually my PRIMARY boardwalk lounging/loitering/partying spots.
TWO of them, one at least 6.2 200+, approached me.
ONE aggressively questioned "ARE YOU a SKINHEAD?"
I was very active at a military(Active, Retired and inactive) martial arts school at the time.
My eyes quickly scanned the "Big Fella" for targets because the SHIT most probably is going to hit the fan. There are four of them, I am by myself. I need to decisively DROP this guy FAST and then go to work on his friends.
Again the "Big Fella" says "ARE YOU a SKINHEAD?"
My response(With sarcasm)- "NAWww, I AIN'T no SKINHEAD".
The two gents then respond something to the effect of "COOL, come PARTY with US".
I walk over and after brief introductions retrieve the twelve pack and place the marijuana bud in my right front pocket.
Important to note, one of them was drinking a 40-Oz bottle of brew(Glass).
Sometime later, TWO tourists approach.
One average height , white, skinny, with "nappy" hair.
The second "BUFF!"(overly muscular) and SHORT(maybe 5.7)
Remember, this is on the boardwalk late at night.
TWO tourists approach
The skinny guy proposes a question to all of "us".
"Do you know where to get any WEED?"
I remember now, I didn't previously place the marijuana bud in my right front pocket, it was still in the rental car.
The skinny guy proposes a question to all of "us".
"Do you know where to get any WEED?"
I respond, "SURE do".
I walk over to my rental car to retrieve the marijuana bud.
Remember, this is CIRCA, 1988 and California.
I walk over to retrieve the marijuana bud in my rental car.
I open my hand , showing these two "Kooks" the bud and propose the ridiculous price of "15 dollars".
I didn't want to sell, I wanted to smoke.
I open my hand, showing these two "rock spiders"(inland tourists) the bud and propose the ridiculous price of "15 dollars".
At that statement the tourists(2) became aggressive and irate. Mistake #1.
The "Big Fella" and the one drinking a 40-Oz bottle of beer(My "New Friends" responded aggressively in kind.
The "Big Fella" aggressively approached the tourists while simultaneously the 40-Oz gent broke his bottle on the sea wall and also aggressively approached the two tourists.
The tourists wisely and instantly chose to retreat, 5 on 2 one visibly armed(Of 5) those are NOT good odds.
I had a premonition and voiced it, "They'll be back" while simultaneously pulling a board off a houses fence that faced the sea wall.
I placed the board hidden on the ocean side of the sea wall and proceeded to manufacture a marijuana pipe out of an empty can of beer.
SURE ENOUGH- here come the idiots(tourists) to join "us" idiots(4+1"me").
I exclaim, "Here they come". I notice that the short "BUFF!!" guy is wielding/brandishing of all weapons a Tonfa. Coincidentally, within maybe two weeks I learned how ineffective a Tonfa was as a weapon and how to disarm any individual foolish enough to use a Tonfa as a weapon.
The more you know... through the thumb- Tonfa disarm
I proceed to nonchalantly "toke up"(smoke bud). Remember, I was ocean side, the sea wall provided any ample defensive barrier.
The two tourists aggressively return/approach...
The "Big Fella" approaches the skinny "Nappy" headed tourist... when the "Big Fella" is about three paces from "Nappy"(Think unkempt white male afro)... "Nappy" reaches into his coat and pulls out a "Hand CANNON"- easily eight inch barrel, revolver- this means it is a .357 at minimum!!!
The gent who previously broke open the 40-Oz "pulls a Jesse Owens and runs away, off down the boardwalk" (not to be seen again on this night).
The "Big Fella" CONTINUES to close the distance between himself and "Dirty "Nappy Headed" Harry".... The "Big Fella" exclaims "Going to shoot me?", "Shoot me, shoot me, Shoot me" as he continues to close the distance.
The Hand CANNON wielder wisely assesses the situation and without a word, turns, fleeing, running away- leaving his "BUFF!!" buddy ALONE, with "US" to fend for HIMSELF.
I am over the sea wall nearly instantly with my "stick".
I don't recall who hit Tonfa first, it could have been me, just as easily it could have been "Big Fella" AKA "Deathwish".
Tonfa "BUFF!!" guy was dropped within seconds, "jacked up" on adrenaline and in "combat" everything slows down, it's the details, everything, most EVERYTHING is CRYSTAL CLEAR in hindsight, at the moment not so much.
Tonfa was dropped to his back within seconds... then adrenaline fueled I really went to "work" on him- I'm a "Nice Guy", so I specifically and intentionally AVOIDED striking anything vital- around targets, not actual targets (Knees, Throat, ramming stick into an eye socket- around targets).
I easily hit him, "swinging for the fences" , twenty plus times.
"We" stood him up, apparently I also simultaneously seized the leadership/spokesman position for "our" "group".
Standing "Tonfa" up I "got in HIS FACE" and exclaimed loudly, with authority "YOUR friend had the GUN, YOUR FRIEND talked YOU into coming BACK, YOUR FRIEND LEFT YOU HERE WITH US. I suggest that you return to YOUR FRIEND and KICK HIS ASS".
...
Epilogue - I have recounted this event, exactly as written above for many, many years.... One day, years later I'm watching a movie and Harvey Keitel's character says "and that guy PULLS A JESSE OWENS and runs off..."
YOU BASTERDS!!!
Stop following me, plagiarizing my stories/events from my life and turning them into movie scenes and/or commercials.
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MegaJetJaguar
Full Member
Trust me, I know what I'm doing.
Posts: 106
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Post by MegaJetJaguar on Aug 8, 2013 10:43:13 GMT -5
Well...I don't like to brag, but; there was this one time when I had to fight off an elite team of bloodthirsty ninjas. All I had on me was a rubber chicken and a toothpick. Within 10 minutes all the ninjas were out cold and on the floor.
And then the alarm clock woke me up and I had to get ready for school. Heh.
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Post by Cheese and Rice on Aug 14, 2013 23:31:17 GMT -5
Prelude: I was in California on vacation at the boardwalk facing the Pacific ocean, usual spot, visiting with old "friends".. I was wearing two pagers, one national pager and one local pager. My national pager went off. I immediately remove it from my waistband and aggressively throw it into the ocean. A few "friends" remark "You, really are Nuts!" Not the first time that I've heard that remark...  ... Epilogue: several years later I'm watching television and a Corona Beer commercial comes on.. YOU BASTERDS!! |
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Post by Cheese and Rice on Aug 15, 2013 0:17:36 GMT -5
Because one is NEVER enough. Backstory: 1/4 of my family is from Australia. Most of them still reside there. I was in Texas visiting an old "watering hole" I'm sitting at the bar and this gorgeous blonde says "I know you." Turns out that she did. We were neighbors several years back in River Oaks, a "community" in Houston. I talk with her for awhile. I was drinking more than usual on this occasion and don't recall why. I was comfortable, I'm unusually hypervigilent normally. I also am chatting with five Australians who just happen to be on vacation and oddly have chosen this local, out of the way, think "popular(again locally) dive" bar. I have an acquaintance who owns and operates a "speak easy"- local underground after hours place to illegally be served alcohol. It's getting late, closing time 2AM.... I'm leaving with the blonde and her female friend. The group of Australians are behind us as we exit. Group of Australians, four "men" and one apparently "unattached" and attractive female. I turn to face them. I was "getting a ride home" from the blonde and her friend. I begin chatting with the Australians and walking to their minivan. I'm explaining to them about a "place that I know" locally that still serves alcohol. The blonde and her friend continue to their car. They are looking at me. I wager assessing whether or not I still want a ride home. I hold up a hand, with index finger extended. You know the "just a minute" gesture. One of the more intoxicated Australians begins to be aggressive and says something to the effect of, "Fuck you, and all your military Bullshit." Basically, he was calling me a liar. Not the first time that I've heard same false accusation either ... Basically, this "Aussie" was "Feeling Froggy".... wanted to fight, and we were squared up ready to go. I again hold up my hand and index finger gesturing to my old neighbor. I'm intoxicated. I still have presence of mind to know that there are four men and possibly a fifth woman in opposition. I know that I have to drop this guy fast. Then immediately respond to his closest friend four paces away. I attempt an old "staple" technique. Armbar across opponents chest, while simultaneously sweeping opponents leg. Thing is, I'm too drunk. I only manage to knock him off balance and he recovers. Still standing, we BOTH laugh. We're still squared up, "ready to go". I hear "my ride" taking off, rapidly. I immediately extend my right arm grabbing his throat/esophagus and squeeze. He freezes, dead as a doornail, if I so choose. His friends quickly capitulate and begin apologising for him. One of the male "buddies" even attempts to hug me. I obviously released the aggressive one, "niceties" were exchanged and I casually walked off into the nice, best guess mid October night. ... Epilogue: Sorry excuse for Australians. I'd pay a couple hundred dollars to be a "Fly on the wall" and listen to their account of what transpired. Unfortunately, for them I highly doubt that their female friend will be party to embellished account or changing the facts of what did indeed take place. |
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Post by OrangeJulius on Aug 17, 2013 13:45:24 GMT -5
Introduction: Late 80's High School, favorite mixed drink for parties "screwdriver".... repeated again I'm, at this time, currently enrolled in a martial arts school whose primary clients are active military, one client is lead DA San Diego, county.
...
I'm walking down the boardwalk, oceanside, with a pitcher of "screwdrivers" in my right hand, a poncho/blanket draped over my shoulders I'm flanked on either side by two female best friends(They're Texans) and on far right side end is my friend andre AKA "skippy".
We're having a good time drinking and having a late night walk down the beach.
I run into a "friend" that I know, he's often and affectionately known simply as "barndog"
He and I exchange pleasentries. He is on opposite side of the seawall. Being on opposite side of the seawall, the sand is below edge of seawall so "barndog" is standing on a seawall edge as we talk.
A lone unknown stranger(obviously latino) walks up on the sand, "barndog's" side of the seawall. The unknown stranger is wearing a black leather jacket, think punk rock or staple inexpensive "Biker" jacket favored by "posers".
The unknown stranger is "Mad Dogging" and "Clocking" me... staring into my eyes with feigned anger and violent intent, assessing me.
I "Mad Dog" him back with equal or better intent.
The unknown stranger says "You're cool, you're cool" steps up on the seawall ledge we shake hands still "Mad Dogging" each other.
The unknown stranger climbs over the seawall to "our" side.
The unknown stranger walks off in the direction that we had came.
At about 25 paces, he turns back toward "us" and says something.
I hold up a hand, flash him the "peace" sign and quickly flip it around to the European offensive hand sign.
The unknown stranger shouts "I KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS, I know what that means." as he runs towards me.
As I am handing the pitcher of "screwdrivers" to someone and shrugging off the blanket the unknown stranger has closed the distance and has punched me in the head three times.
I merely reach up with both hands, grasp the back of his head, and knee him in the face, while pulling down on his head 2-3 times. This action propels him backwards putting easily five feet between us.
The two girls, God love them, immediately close the distance and BOTH violently begin repeatedly punching him in his kidneys on either side.
"Skippy" is frozen, almost in shock.
The unknown stranger increases the distance briefly turns around to reveal his mangled and bloody lower face and jumps over the seawall.
On other occasions I have referred to his face as a "cherry pie".
Safely on the opposite side of the seawall the unknown stranger loudly exclaims "I'LL SEE YOU AGAIN, I'll see YOU again."
MISTAKE
His comment enrages me, flips my "switches" to wide open, and I shout back as I close the distance between us "WILL YOU, WILL YOU MOTHER FUCKER?" Seriously, my intent instantly upgraded to putting this guy "in the ground".
The unknown stranger cowers in fear, meekly approaching to again shake my hand and say "No man you're cool, you're cool."
...
Epilogue: I run into "Barndog" a few weeks later. He says something to the effect of "remember that guy"
"Yeah, of course I remember."- me
"I saw him in jail, he was getting "punked" left and right".
Maybe, just maybe when a moths wings violently flutter in Japan a tsunami may occur as a result.
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Post by OrangeJulius on Aug 17, 2013 14:38:36 GMT -5
Because, "ONE is NEVER enough".
Prelude: Many years later, after military service highly intoxicated and smoking close to two packs a day.
I'm at a "street festival" in Texas
I'm quite randomly walking up to strangers offering my services and demostrating simple techniques on them.
Later in the day, further intoxicated.
I walk up and demonstrate a technique on a skinhead who is with three buddies.
"Doh!!" I did this WITHOUT preceding "Sales Pitch" or ANY explanation.
Two of his buddies immediately run off.
The skinhead "bows up" squares his chest and immediately and repeatedly says "Why YOU pushing ME, Why YOU pushing ME."
Within two minutes his buddies return with, conservative estimate, sixteen more skinheads.
This quite obviously emboldens the first skinhead. He is quite obviously, compelled to act and fast.
"Why YOU pushing ME, Why YOU pushing ME" He repeats.
As his group has now formed a semi-circle around me with a wooden fence to my back.
I interject, "Here is what is going to happen, you and I are going to fight, you will not be able to beat me.All your friends will then jump in and "boot party" me.
A "boot party" is a skinhead euphamism for compulsory kicking a downed adversary as a group.
He responds "No, naw, if any of them jump in I'll kick their ass too".
As if.
This guy obviously needs more encouragement to get the show on the road.
I offer a deceptive "dangle". I feign looking off in a direction while simultaneously conveniently offering up my chin.
He bites, swinging a right "haymaker" for my chin.
I easily block his attempt, there is a brief melee exchange. I get him in a significant headlock, to this day I wish that I would have had the presence of mind to have given him a "Thee Stooges" "noogee" while I had him in a headlock, unfortunately I didn't.
At one point in our brief melee exchange I attempt a right handed behind his head, hair grab technique, on a skinhead... we BOTH laugh.
He then gets me in a headlock, I look, oh how convenient his groin, I give him a full force right uppercut to his groin.
This blow sends him two steps back, slightly hunched over, gasping for air.
I am also gasping for air, close to two packs a day.
As I close the distance, WHAM, rabbit punch from behind me to the right. BAM rabbit punch behind my right ear/neck.
I drop like a sack of potatoes following the rabbit punch.
As I attempt to get to my feet "boot party" full force commences. Unknown number of skinheads repeatedly kick me with purpose.
I manage to get to my feet.
Most of them are running away, street festival, too many witnesses.
One of them, closest to me, is holding a large cast iron surveying grate, think baseball hitters stance, prepared to "swing for the fences".
I look directly at him, smile(A shit eating grin) and begin to close the distance.
The look on his face was priceless, he drops the surveying grate, turns on his heels and runs off to join his friends.
One of the few, who have genuinely seen my "war face" and lived to tell the tale.
Police respond within minutes(2-3), unknown witness called them. I have no knowledge of any police action taken other than police briefly questioning me.
....
Epilogue: My right side ribcage hurt for two-three weeks afterwards.
...
Sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite.
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Post by TimothyAClyne on Sept 26, 2013 23:15:50 GMT -5
Prelude: Senior year, high school ... my friend had already enlisted United States Army and was either on leave, Army reserve or National Guard I forget which...
We(He and I) were basically "dating" these two girls. Who, like us, were close friends.Sort of a Lenny, Squiggy, Laverne and Shirley situation.
Problem was we were located basically on the beach San Diego. My buddies parents had a house less than a block from the boardwalk AND, AND, AND this house had a separate guest house which was basically our teenage clubhouse.
The Problem was that their parents lived easily thirty minutes away inland in Spring Valley AND, AND, AND if they failed to return home on time they would be "grounded" for 2-3 weeks.
Grounded for 2-3 weeks was unacceptable to us and so frequent drama/adventures arose around how exactly we would get them both home on time.
My buddy and I never really wanted for much however we still stole the occasional vehicle.
We both knew how to steal several different vehicles with only a pair of scissors(Probably, why California law back then required you to be eighteen to purchase them).
So, we have a dilemma neither of us has transportation for some reason and our "steady dates" have to be home or else.
We tell the "ladies" to hang tight and we'll be right back.
My buddy and I run off. Within minutes we locate a suitable vehicle, only scissors needed, on El Carmel point.
I begin to "liberate" the vehicle. I open the door with scissors but then I'm having difficulty starting the ignition. After unacceptable few minutes attempting to start the vehicle I relinquish my attempt to my buddy.
DOH!!!
He rapidly gets the vehicle started but the car was in gear and the vehicle lurches forward over parking block, over the curb and becomes hopelessly wedged between the paved El Carmel point and San Diego bayside sand.
DOH!!!
We run off, with the spinning tires and wedged car hopefully soon forgotten without further incident.
I forget if and how we ultimately were able to get the girls home on this occasion.
...
Epilogue, my buddy eventually marred "his" girl of these two & they "had" a child together.
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Post by TAC on Sept 26, 2013 23:55:02 GMT -5
Because one is NEVER enough.
Introduction: Still late eighties... I frequently "hang out" with various gangs and their membership. I never "joined" any or was "officially" recognized as a member of ANY of these "gangs".
SWEET, FRONT ROW SEATS:
So, I'm driving some random female around, it's my senior year high school. I drive her up Soledad and later to Kate Sessions park. We are both standing outside my car when a "RUCKUS" starts.
I mildly remember that we were drinking something, best guess given time, place and myself.. probably "screwdrivers".
So, the "RUCKUS" moves towards and then past us coming to "rest" in front of us and to the right.
It is a gangfight. Between ONE gang member "flying" a green bandana and at least fifteen "Crips".
The "Crips" have formed an apparently inescapable circle around this brave or foolish lone gang member and they are toying with him. Some of the "Crips" have weapons. I vividly remember one with a long chain(similar to bicycle chain).
The "Crips" are toying with him instead of swarming him. They fight him 1vs1, 2vs1, rotating "participants" and frequently sucker punching him when either his back is turned or he is distracted.
I continue to watch, silently sipping whatever my beverage was with my anonymous date.
Within minutes the lone gang member see's his chance, an opening in the circle and he runs off down the hill.
Many of the "Crips" walk past us to their cars, within ten feet, some demonstrably still angry, kicking over garbage cans and the like.
I remain silent.(I had two fix blade knives concealed behind my waistband over my crotch with my hands resting close for immediate "deployment". I know beyond doubt if they would have engaged me, I wouldn't be writing this now & I would have immediately commenced to stickin & stabbin ).
The entire group passes without incident, many loudly drive off, screeching tires, etcetera.
Within minutes(4-5) the lone gang member returns running uphill towards the "Crips" the way he had previously fled... The lone gang member returns running uphill with THREE friends...
That's my queue to GTFO of there.
4 gang members aggressively charging a group of at least fifteen armed rival gang members ... LEAVE IMMEDIATELY if you possibly can.
...
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