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Post by OrangeJulius on Jul 11, 2017 21:30:15 GMT -5
I have a version of this joke tattooed on my brain from my time in our Country's service.
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Post by OrangeJulius on Jul 11, 2017 21:34:18 GMT -5
I also have a version of this joke tattooed on my brain from 'ditto'
YouTube a gift to people who don't think the joke typed will have nearly the same effect.
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Post by OrangeJulius on Jul 13, 2017 3:26:13 GMT -5
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Post by ROcK! on Jul 15, 2017 13:58:12 GMT -5
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Post by OrangeJulius on Jul 15, 2017 20:24:34 GMT -5
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Post by OrangeJulius on Jul 22, 2017 22:34:45 GMT -5
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Post by OrangeJulius on Jul 22, 2017 22:35:45 GMT -5
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Post by OrangeJulius on Jul 22, 2017 22:37:47 GMT -5
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Post by OrangeJulius on Jul 22, 2017 22:40:36 GMT -5
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Post by ROcK! on Jul 30, 2017 8:55:02 GMT -5
Here's a dumb one that I made up myself last year and originally posted over on the Fun Forum!
Two zombies are chowing down on a fresh human kill when one of the zombie's smells a horrible stench and says, "Gawd! What is that horrible smell?" The other zombie looks at him sheepishly and replies, "Oops, sorry! That was me. I just farted." 
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Post by OrangeJulius on Aug 5, 2017 20:20:38 GMT -5
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Post by ROcK! on Aug 6, 2017 12:13:54 GMT -5
Hello Nordrhein-Westfalen, Germany!
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Post by ROcK! on Aug 6, 2017 21:28:14 GMT -5
Hello Nordrhein-Westfalen, Germany!  |
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Post by OrangeJulius on Aug 15, 2017 4:12:05 GMT -5
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Post by OrangeJulius on Aug 21, 2017 6:43:36 GMT -5
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Post by SweetLadyStarlight on Aug 25, 2017 16:49:29 GMT -5
How do you know when it's a lady elephant's "time of the month"?
When you find a quarter on your dresser and your mattress is missing.
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Post by OrangeJulius on Aug 26, 2017 0:30:37 GMT -5
Presents a quandary if you are present when she tells these jokes to you...Is it polite or impolite to laugh?
...
Story time:
Many , many years ago...
I routinely included 'dumb' blonde jokes with my letters to a girl named Gina when I left Southern California for awhile.
Then, without warning ...
She sent a short two page letter...
First Page
"I dye my hair.I'm naturally a Blonde."
Second Page
A list of dumb men jokes
One that I recall
Why are men like tile floors?
If you lay them right the first time, you can walk all over them for the rest of their life.
Tuh, dum, tish
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Post by SweetLadyStarlight on Aug 27, 2017 13:56:36 GMT -5
Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight?
Because it was well-armed!
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Post by ROcK! on Aug 28, 2017 10:23:35 GMT -5
My penis was in the Guinness Book of World Records. But then the librarian told me to take it out.
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Post by OrangeJulius on Oct 10, 2017 12:40:51 GMT -5
I was walking down the street and met a grungy, dishevelled , smelly homeless man.
He asked for 'spare change'.
I reached in my wallet and retrieved a 10$ spot.
I showed it to the homeless man and said.
"If I gave this to you would you take a Kung-fu lesson?"
The homeless man replied..
"I quit martial arts when I was 10 years old."
I said
"Will you play video games with the money?"
The homeless man replied...
"I gave up videogames over twenty years ago."
I said ...
"Well, will you go fishing with the money then? "
The homeless man replies ...
"Oh no, I gave up fishing years ago".
To which I say...
"You are coming with me to have dinner with me and my girlfriend."
He says ...
"You are too kind."
Too which I respond...
"My pleasure, I must show my girlfriend what can happen if you give up videogames , martial arts and fishing."
Lulz
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Post by ROcK! on Oct 29, 2017 10:28:54 GMT -5
Ghost: *Knock, Knock!
R'N'R: "Who's there?"
Ghost: "BOO!"
R'N'R: "Boo who?"
Ghost: "Geez... You don't have to cry about it!"
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Post by OrangeJulius on Nov 23, 2017 22:51:19 GMT -5
Jesus was walking down a road when he came upon a man from Calabria.
Jesus asked the man "Where are you going?"
The man replied "God or no God, I go to Calabria.'
So Jesus turned him into stone for a week.
On the eighth day, Jesus returned , restored the man to his original form and asked the same question, "Where are you going?"
The man again replied "God or no God, I go to Calabria."
So Jesus turned him into stone for a week again.
This went on for a month, a year, five years, ten and the twenty years, all with the same results.
Finally Jesus threw up his hands into the air and said,
"There is no gourd thicker than the skull of a Calabrese"
and he allowed the man to complete his journey.
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Post by Master Betty on Jan 24, 2018 16:33:28 GMT -5
What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord?
My ass! Nyah, haha, haha, haha! ENOUGH! |
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Post by Rodney Dangerfield on Jan 27, 2018 12:10:50 GMT -5
 "This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the Fruit of the Loom guys laughing at me. " |
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Post by ROcK! on Jan 30, 2018 16:31:51 GMT -5
Monty Python- The Funniest Joke in the World |
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Post by ROcK! on Feb 3, 2018 14:59:08 GMT -5
Fuck 'em if they can't take a Joke!
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Post by Rodney Dangerfield on Feb 3, 2018 16:33:25 GMT -5
"A girl phoned me and said, "Come on over. There's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home! "
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Post by ROcK! on Feb 4, 2018 12:23:21 GMT -5
Blind Dating 101 with Rodney Dangerfield (1983) |
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Post by Rodney Dangerfield on Feb 20, 2018 17:06:32 GMT -5
"They say 'love thy neighbor as thy self'. What am I supposed to do, jerk him off too?"
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Post by The Unknown Comic on Feb 22, 2018 14:17:30 GMT -5
 The Unknown Comic: "How do you keep an idiot in suspense?"
Chuck Barris: "I don't know?"
The Unknown Comic: "I'll tell you tomorrow!" |
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