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Post by ROcK! on Oct 10, 2013 11:41:41 GMT -5
Post your review of ANYTHING that you want to here. The more mundane the item the better. The only catch is that you must describe the item as being something totally new, refreshing and exciting as best that you can.
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Post by ROcK! on Oct 10, 2013 11:54:42 GMT -5
Okay, I'll go first...Cotton Swabs! Cotton Swabs! However did I get by in life without these things before they were invented?! They're little sticks with cotton balls attached to each end of them and boy are they ever the cat's meow! You can use them to reach into those hard-to-reach areas of your ears and clean out all of that disgusting gunk that builds up inside of them. Before this invention I always had to pour an acid-based solution in my ear, shake my head around a little, and then tip my head to the side to let all the gross gunk drain out. NOT ANYMORE! This is the best invention since the wheel. And the best part about it is that they are relatively inexpensive. THAT'S RIGHT! You can pick up a multi-pack for cheap at nearly every single store in town. So what are you waiting for? Go out and buy a pack today!
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Post by ROcK! on Oct 25, 2013 12:42:17 GMT -5
TOILET PAPER!!! Remember the olden days when you used to have to use a tree or bush leaf, an old dirty rag, a page from one of your favorite books, or worse yet, your own shirt sleeve to wipe your ass with after having taken a dump? Well, NOT ANYMORE, my friend! Toilet paper is here! Yes! It is a revolutionary new idea in butt hygienic maintenance that is here to stay. It is a convenient roll of soft thin clean paper that is tailor made and suited perfectly for wiping your butt clean with after relieving those annoying but necessary bowel movements that you experience from time to time.
So keep your shirt sleeves clean, and those favorite books of yours intact and go rush out and buy some TOILET PAPER today. Your butt will thank you for it. |
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Post by ROcK! on Nov 20, 2013 13:18:59 GMT -5
SPOONS! There once was a time when mankind had to eat their food using only their hands, but those days are gone forever with the incredible invention of...THE SPOON! You heard right! No more will you have to use your hands to dig into that yummy bowl of chili, oatmeal or soup, the spoon is here to help you to keep those hands of yours clean and spotless. And best of all, the spoon fits comfortably in your hand, is easy to maintain, and nary a drop of precious food does it waste on your face, shirt, or lap if used appropriately.
So, stop soiling your clothes, hands and face and rush out and buy some spoons today! |
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Post by Darth Vader on Dec 3, 2013 14:30:25 GMT -5
The Dark Lord of the Sith; Darth Vader Droids! Droids are so very convenient. I mean, before the invention of Droids we had to do menial labor, tasks and other chores all by ourselves with our very own force-choking hands! What a waste of precious time that was when what we could really be doing is out killing Ewoks, and defeating Jedis, and crushing rebellious uprisings.
Now, we have all of the time in the galaxy to do just that with the help of our little mechanical friends, the Droids! Thank You, Droids. |
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Post by ROcK! on Apr 2, 2014 12:42:10 GMT -5
SOCKS! What an incredibly amazing invention! Remember back in the cold dark ancient days of long ago when you would have to wrap your feet in animal skins just to keep them warm? Well, those days are gone forever my friends with the incredible invention of THE SOCK! No longer will you have to put up with those ugly and embarrassing, bulky, itchy and dirty animal skins that did absolutely nothing to make your feet look fashionable. The future of footwear is here today with THE SOCK! They're comfy and warm and they come in a variety of colors. So, make sure to rush out and buy yourself a pair of socks TODAY! |
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The Man From Planet X
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Post by The Man From Planet X on Mar 12, 2017 9:14:47 GMT -5
Annihilation is coming soon, puny Earthlings!
RESISTANCE IS FUTILE!
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Beavis and Butt-Head
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Post by Beavis and Butt-Head on Jan 14, 2018 11:39:47 GMT -5
Butt-Head: I like Nachos and Cheese. Huh!Beavis: Yeah! Me too. Huhhuuh!
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Post by ROcK! on Jan 15, 2018 10:38:12 GMT -5
The Sponge! Introducing the incredible Sponge! Yes! No longer do you have to wash your dishes using just your hands and dish soap alone, the future of dish-washing is now with the amazing invention of the Sponge! Not only does it absorb water conveniently like a champ but it also provides a soft, yet rugged surface that delicately but most effectively rubs away those stubborn food stains on all of your dirty dishes to help give them that spotless, clean appearance. So what are you waiting for? Rush out and buy yourself some sponges today!
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Post by OrangeJulius on Jan 16, 2018 1:31:31 GMT -5
Crazy junkies Rejoice!!
NOW !!!
Warm feet with SOCKS!!!
No more tearing your cigarette filters, searching for cigarette butts or needing to find a bottle cap!!!
Spoons , AND Cotton Swabs for your Junk!!!
And And Sponges, Sponges to keep your personal, private "Junk" mildly appropriate , not smelling like Chernobyl or Dear God No New Jersey!!!
Colonics for Everyone !!!
Lulz
Success, now everyone is thinking of "Naked Sponge Wielding Junkies Wearing Comfortable Socks!!!"
There's a band name idea in there somewhere..
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Post by ROcK! on Aug 1, 2018 11:35:05 GMT -5
Garbage Bags! I mean, I suppose that you could just throw all of your trash in a back room somewhere? Or burn it? But, what could be more easier and convenient than stuffing it all in a garbage bag and setting it out on the curb for the trash collectors to pick up? |
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Post by ROcK! on Aug 3, 2018 14:29:18 GMT -5
I mean, C'mon, think about it... Without the Internet I wouldn't be able to post this and you wouldn't be able to read it. So... Hooray for the Internet!
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